


Like Bunnies

by LibKat



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Future Fic, I’m really terribly sorry, Sort Of, i don’t know what happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-17 00:57:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14177097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibKat/pseuds/LibKat
Summary: I don’t even know ...





	Like Bunnies

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I’m admitting up front that this fic is blatant thievery. I read a very similar story years ago, as a Stargate SG1 Sam/Jack fic. I was never able to find it again after the Sam/Jack archive shut down. So, I’m stealing the idea and changing it to J/B. The concept is the S/J author’s but the words are my own. 
> 
> If anyone knows who the original author is, please let me know and I’ll credit him/her by name.
> 
> Added note: The original Stargate fic was “A Silly Spring Story” by Eliza(?). Several commenters have mentioned there is also a Buffy/Spike BtVS fic that has the same premise. I wasn’t familiar with it, but thanks to the folks who provided the link.
> 
> This is total, Easter inspired crack. Blame the sugar rush from Cadbury Mini Eggs.
> 
> Disclaimer: A Song of Ice and Fire, Game of Thrones and these characters belong to a whole bunch of people who are not me. I will return them undamaged when I am finished playing with them.

 

  _What the hells happened?_

Jaime Lannister came awake in the snow underneath the Winterfell heart tree.  One minute he, Brienne, Bronn and the Wildling fucker had been confronting some creepy, red haired bitch who was waaaaaay underdressed for the weather, and the next minute, he was coming to on the ground, the progress of the low winter sun implying that he’d been out for several hours.

Jaime tried to stand.  Oddly he remained very low to the ground.

_What the fuck?  What’s wrong with my legs?  What’s wrong with my eyesight?_

_Where the hells is Brienne?  If that witch hurt her …_

Jaime turned his head frantically, looking for the Maid of Tarth.  She was just a step or two away from him.  Her enormous blue eyes were glassy from shock as she was just coming out of unconsciousness. 

Jaime moved quickly to her side.  His gait felt odd, but he ignored that in his urgency to reach his … friend.

Jaime nuzzled Brienne to offer her comfort and reassurance. 

_Gods, she smells incredible!_

Jaime’s dick went instantly from flaccid to hard as Casterly Rock.  Brienne’s blue eyes blinked a few times and then she nuzzled him back.  She trembled for a moment and then turned and presented her hindquarters to him.

And that was that.

Her fragrance overwhelmed him.  Before he could think, he was buried in her up to the hilt.  Brienne made little squeaks of appreciation as Jaime pumped in her, his powerful legs driving him as he tried to reach her very womb.  They both howled as they finished together, Jaime’s seed spurting from him as spots danced in front of his eyes.

Jaime rested against Brienne’s back as he waited for his cock to soften and slip from her.  He breathed deep of her enticing aroma.

_H’mmmm …_

What was happening here?  Jaime had never recovered this quickly.  Maybe he had passed out from the intensity of his orgasm and lost time.  But he was rapidly growing hard again, nearly ready to begin fucking his Brienne all over again.

From his oddly amazing peripheral vision, he saw movement on both sides.  A mangy, black furred creature was approaching from his left, a covetous look in his pale eyes.  Jaime bared his teeth menacingly.  That interloper backed off at once.

On his right, a huge, red, stinking lump of fur was not so easily dissuaded.  He approached Brienne’s face and tried to nuzzle her.  Her face darted, her teeth flashed and the bastard backed off with a chunk missing from his cheek.

_That’s my wench!_

Brienne shifted her hindquarters to improve Jaime’s angle and he began happily humping again.

Jaime lost all sense of time with his cock buried in Brienne.  It was full dark when he became aware of torches, noises.  Though his legs were tired and his cock was sore from more action than it had seen in decades, Jaime could not stop.  Hands tried to separate him from Brienne.  His teeth flashed.

“Gods dammit!” Jaime heard Jon Snow cry out.  “Don’t try to ...  Just put them both in the box.  What the fuck are we going to do about this?  My four best fighters are …are … Arghhhhh!”

It took both Samwell Tarly and Brandon Stark to figure out what had happened and fix whatever Melisandre had done to them.

Jaime came back to himself in the maester’s quarters.  He was naked and shaking, exhausted and somehow … still hard.  Bronn and Giantsbane were standing across the room from him, wrapped in blankets.  Giantsbane had a bloodstained cloth pressed to his cheek.  Jaime shot the Wildling a still animalistic grin.

He held Brienne’s trembling, blanket wrapped little body as the Three Eyed Raven broke the spell on her.  She cried out and struggled for a moment against his hold, but Jaime was strong enough to keep her in his arms.

“Out!” Jaime barked at everyone crowding in the room. 

Lady Sansa looked as if she wanted to protest.  Lady Arya looked as if she wanted to kill someone, preferably Jaime, nothing new there.  King Jon just look confused, but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary either.

As the door shut behind them Jaime heard Bran mutter to Sam, “I can’t believe the red priestess decided to intervene in this way.  I’ve been observing.  Matters would have worked out eventually.  Her interference was not needed.”

Jaime dismissed the comment from his mind.  He concentrated on Brienne, petting her fur … hair as she kept her face buried in his shoulder.

“My lady,” he began.

She groaned in response.

“What happened?”  Brienne whispered.  “I … you … we …”

“Yes,” Jaime said, his lips quirked into a smirk that would have drawn his lady’s ire if she raised her face out of its hiding place.  “I … you … we … fucked the entire afternoon.  And if that bloody door was locked,” Jaime paused and then raised his voice to a near shout, “and the whole bloody castle wasn’t listening on the other side,”

Various reactions of outrage could be heard on the other side of the thin slab of wood separating him and Brienne from their friends.

Jaime lowered his voice back to a croon, “if that weren’t the case, if I had any say in the matter, we fuck away the evening and well into the night.  We’d keep right on fucking like bunnies.”

***

Eight years later …

The solar attached to the lord and lady’s chamber of Evenfall Hall was crowded, though it was late in the evening.  The assembled group had been waiting for hours.  They had heard moans and groans, shouts and cries.  They’d heard the Lady of Tarth curse her lord husband roundly.  They’d heard her threaten him with a future of sleeping in the stables.  They’d heard the Lord of Casterly Rock soothe and praise and laugh and tease.  Finally, finally the door to the bedchamber opened and Lord Jaime stood in it, the light from the candles lining his mature beauty in a golden glow.

They all stood as one:  seven-year-old Joanna, Catelyn and Gerion, five-year-old Galladon and Sansa, two and half year-old Tyrion and Selwyn held onto their big brothers’ and sisters’ hands as they quivered in anticipation.

Joanna, enjoying her status as the oldest by several minutes, spoke for all of them.  “Papa, is Mama well?”

Jaime knelt on the floor and opened his arms.  His brood, his pride of cubs (for they were _lions_ not _rabbits_ ) swamped him.  “Mama is fine, my sweetlings.  She is as great a warrior in this as she is in all else.  The maester is finished with her now.  Come and see her and meet the newest members of our family.”

The maester was gathering his things, bustling about the chamber as the children entered.  He bowed to the members of Houses Tarth and Lannister.  As he took his leave he could be heard to mutter, “I will write a paper about this, no matter who objects.  This must be documented in the Citadel.”

“Come, my dear ones.  Meet your new brothers and sisters.”  Their mama called out softly.

Jaime moved to sit on the bed next to his wife, wrapping an arm around her as though it was the only place it belonged.  Brienne moved her head, naturally as breathing, to rest on his shoulder.  She looked exhausted, yet radiant against the pillows of the great bed in the lord’s chamber.  Overflowing her arms were, one, two, three, four little bundles.

The smallest children clambered up onto the bed with their parents, the older stood as close as close could be.  All of them joined hands as they looked at the new arrivals.

“This is your brother, Bronn.  This is your brother, Podrick.  This is your sister, Arya.  And this is your sister, Lyanna.  Aren’t they beautiful?”

The children looked at the red, squished faced lumps of flesh in their mama’s arms.  The older children already knew the proper response.

“The most beautiful babies the world has ever seen.”  They answered as one.

“Just like their sisters and brothers.”  Jaime added, his voice choked with emotion.

“Mama, Papa,” Galladon piped up.  “They all look alike.  How will we tell them apart?”

Jaime chuckled and cleared his throat.  “Mama and I can tell.  You will be able to as well.  Lions always know their pride.  Now off to your beds, my cubs.  Mama needs her rest and so do you.”

Joanna Lannister, future Lady of Tarth snuck one look behind her before she shut the door to her parents’ bedchamber.  Papa had taken one of the babes from Mama’s arms.  He had folded back the swaddling cloth and was nuzzling his nose against the baby’s bare tummy, inhaling deeply.  He was always doing that, sniffing his children’s hair, their necks, their hands, whenever he held them close.  Papa was weird.

***

King Jon and Queen Danaerys were never able to capture the red witch, Melisandre.  The last anyone heard of her, she was on a ship bound for Essos, a ship flying a red banner with a golden lion.  Lannisters always pay their debts.


End file.
